Learning to flirt - tips for him and her

While some are flirting for as long as they can, others are unsettled when they meet someone they like. What should I say and how can I flirt successfully? Whether in the bar or on a first date - flirting is actually not that difficult and even very shy people can easily learn to flirt - we are happy to help you! 

The decision is made: you finally want to learn to flirt! Flirting in the chat still seemed so easy - but now that Philipp is in flesh and blood in front of Lisa, it is suddenly difficult for her to overcome her shyness. She really likes the way he takes a sip of his coffee and smiles at her. But while they have been talking about all kinds of things while dating online, their conversation on the first date is more like cautious small talk than an exciting conversation. Lisa would love to flirt at him now - but doesn't really know how. Learning to flirt is actually not that difficult.

Flirt culture in Germany?

“Aurelie - it never works like that. You expect far too much, the Germans flirt very subtly, ”sings Judith Holofernes from“ Wir sind Helden ”and is not entirely wrong. Because in fact, the German flirting culture is very reserved compared to other countries. While a woman walking down the street in Italy can hardly save herself from shouts of "Ciao Bella", the men here tend to remain silent and prefer to give her inconspicuous glances than really take the initiative. But regardless of nationality or shyness: Flirting can be learned and it's a lot of fun. Here are a few flirting tips to help you flirt successfully.

9 flirting tips for both sexes

• The greatest enemy of learning to flirt is your own shyness. If you don't get over it, the likelihood of flirting at all is unlikely. Trust that the other person will find you interesting - if this is not the case, it is not the end of the world. After all, sooner or later you will definitely meet someone with whom there is a spark and with whom you can be yourself.
• "I'll look you in the eye, little one," said Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca" and Ingrid Bergman melted away. In fact, eye contact is the be-all and end-all when flirting - even the best way to start a conversation does not work without nice “moments”.
• When learning to flirt, it is also important to overcome your own fear of speaking. Have confidence that what you have to say is interesting. Often a conversation develops by itself and suddenly you find yourself in a stimulating dialogue that both of you like.
• Be bold and creative when approaching them. You don't have to reinvent the wheel, but come up with a question that the other person cannot simply answer with “yes” or “no”. Then the conversation can start straight away without you having to come up with another question.
• Once the conversation has started, it's important to use your body language to show interest. Because learning to flirt also includes the right posture and gestures. A positive demeanor, for example, signals to the other person that you find them interesting.
• Be attentive! A very simple rule of thumb for learning to flirt is to listen carefully to the other person. Please make a note of the name of your flirt (as strange as it may sound: many people quickly forget it) and use it to address him / her. Also, ask questions, showing that you are interested in him / her and his / her subjects.
• Be yourself! Pretending may work for an evening or a date, but if you are genuinely interested in the other person, there is little point in faking something that is wrong. Plus, flirting is a lot more fun when you act out who you are.
• As you learn to flirt, say goodbye to the thought of wanting to flirt properly. Because in fact there is seldom “right” or “wrong” in flirting. It is important to respond to your counterpart and pay attention to their signals.
• Don't be afraid of rejection. Sure, getting a basket is never nice. But it is much more important to trust yourself at all. Learning to flirt without initiative is rather difficult. And besides, after a basket, there will soon be another opportunity for a good flirtation with someone who is interested in you.
• While most flirting tips apply equally to both sexes, there are some differences to keep in mind. In order to learn to flirt as a woman or a man, these tips may be helpful

3 flirting tips especially for women

• In order to learn to flirt as a woman, it is first of all necessary to correctly interpret the man's flirtation signals. Pay attention to his posture and his looks. If he keeps looking over at you and doing so-called skip gestures - for example, touching his beard or the like - he is probably interested. Then you can get started!
• Take the initiative! Many men are shy and don't dare to flirt on a woman just like that. But if the woman has courage, the man will certainly be grateful and the conversation will be all the more beautiful.
• Be direct. Women have much more subtle flirting language that men often don't understand. So clearly signal your interest - for example with a smile and a deep look.

3 flirting tips especially for men

• Don't be too aggressive! Women prefer to flirt a little slower and want to get to know you in conversation. Flirting messages that relate to their appearance or are of a sexual nature often do not go down well with women and promise little success in flirting.
• The best way to learn how to flirt as a man is to switch from big gestures to small ones. Help her into her jacket and hold the door for her. However, avoid getting up close and personal immediately. Many women find this intrusive on the first date. Better to wait to see what signals she sends out - if she touches you, you too can take the initiative.
• Let the woman set the pace more. Men are sometimes a bit brash when it comes to flirting, while women like to take the flirting fun a little slower. Don't let this unsettle you, but rather see if she gives you a smile, listens carefully and seeks your closeness.

Of course, every person and therefore every flirtation is absolutely individual. But with a few little tips and tricks, learning to flirt is suddenly very easy and a lot of fun. And who knows, you might even get to know your great love while flirting successfully. We would be very happy for you!