How you can recognize true self-confidence on your date

It is usually not the emphatically cool-looking type who is actually self-confident. Real greatness often shows in weaknesses. So that you don't fall for Blender, the author and coach Simone Sauter has collected some identifying features

Have you ever been on a first date and sat in front of a man who looked intimidated and gave insecure answers to your questions? Me too. Incidentally, that can happen to you with a woman too. But in this post I want to talk to you about how you can recognize a confident man on a first date.

He looks you in the eye

People who are insecure and less self-confident find it difficult to look others in the eye. They tend to look past you or not in your direction at all, but rather to look at something like the food.

As the saying goes, the eyes are the mirror of the soul. A self-confident man can look you in the eye and say "I have nothing to hide, I am open to get to know you".

He shows himself to be vulnerable and stands by his feelings

Imagine you have a wonderful date with a great and interesting conversation, but when it gets emotional you notice the man backing off. According to the motto “nothing knocks me out, because I can endure every feeling without problems” - in this case you are dealing with a less self-confident man.

A confident man is vulnerable and can stand up to his feelings. That doesn't mean that he has to burst into tears or that he can't stop raving about his mother. It simply means that when the conversation gets a little more emotional and you can sense that he has access to his feelings, he doesn't close.

He can admit his weaknesses

It looks similar when it comes to admitting weaknesses. Depending on the intensity of your conversation, in one situation or another you have to admit that something is not your greatest strength.

If you now have a man in front of you who tells you that he can do everything, that nothing is a challenge for him and that he obviously has difficulty admitting his weaknesses, you have also come across a somewhat less self-confident man. Because a self-confident man knows that he doesn't have to be able to do everything.

What drives him to behave in this way is very likely an inner insecurity and the fear that you will then no longer find him interesting, or even worse, "not man enough" if he admits a weakness. If he were confident, he would know that you are then not the right person for him and that he has to look for someone else.

He has empathy

A confident man has empathy, compassion and can easily empathize with other people. He doesn't need to blaspheme others (maybe even his ex!), Disparage the waiter, or pretend to be a better person. If you recognize one of these characteristics in your date, look out for it. Not because he is not a confident man, but because that already gives you a clue as to how he would most likely treat you as a partner.

He's not trying to impress you by any means

I was on a date once and the man told me what he owned. Like in the advertisement “My house, my car, my boat” - do you know them? It was the only date.

Because a man who tries to impress you in all possible ways is so insecure and lacking in self-love that he thinks he needs to tell you and show you all these things because he is not enough himself.

Being with someone who doesn't love himself can be exhausting because you have to keep giving him the affirmation that he can't give himself.

He can show his limits

Personally, I'm a very direct type and can (often unintentionally) fall into the house with the door. Some men find it unattractive and some find it too far.

I was on a date once and the man said to me with a smile that he would like to put this question (I can't remember which one it was) off until a later date. I found that very attractive because he showed me his limits in his own way and made me understand that it was too early for him to respond.

A confident man can do it. He can be a charming way of showing you that you have just crossed a line without making you feel like you must be feeling bad about it.

He is at peace with himself

And last but not least, a man who is confident is at peace with himself. You get the impression that he is happy with himself and most importantly he does not make you feel like he is in need. According to the motto “I absolutely want a partner by my side, someone better than nobody”.